All About the Authors

Gerald Aungst, BFA, MBA, DDS, is the Webmaster and Lead Designer for He works as a part-time custodian at Oceanside Community College in Casper, Wyoming, and frequently audits graduate level courses in differential histrionics when he is not sweeping and mopping the campus beach. Gerald is something of an explorer himself, having visited six of the seven major continents and a few minor ones as well. Since 1991, he was living eleven feet, three inches to the west of the summit of Mt. Marianas, but recently moved. His whereabouts are presently unknown.

Lauren Zucker, MD, is the Staff Psychiatrist and Botanist. Known worldwide as the discoverer of the rare Australian Ligh-Ligh bush, which has arguably the sweetest fruit of any plant, she is better known in our offices for her delicious Lighberry jam. Lauren is also a voice-over actor, and her work has been heard in nearly 1.2 million radio and television promotional and public service announcements. For some reason, though, she refuses to record the greeting announcements for our office phone system. The webmaster (see above) recommends that you email her and try to talk her into it. Lauren enjoys clear soft drinks, disco, and creating origami power tools. She has lived her entire life underground.

Dr. Eton Kroe, BTDt, MRe, PdQ, recently joined the growing staff of as our Chief Researcher and Shipwright-At-Large. Dr. Kroe comes to us from the University of Demiglace-on-Seine, where he spent several years as Professor of Mythology (Urban). When he is not writing for our site, he can be found working for the non-profit “Cards For Carl” program, where he organizes email campaigns to solicit get well cards for poor, little Carl Shamm, who is now a 33-year-old fry cook at the Westside Diner (next to Nancy’s Hair Salon on the Crosstown Throughway) and has been in remission for 19 years and really doesn’t want any more get well cards. Please forward this to everyone in your contacts list.

Lochten deBrigg VI, Esq. , is our Legal and Political Analyst and Doughnut Glazer Laureate. He is rather equivocal about his full-time career, but we are told it involves playing cards and frequent relocation. He is widely traveled and is well acquainted with the personnel and facilities in many jurisdictions. In his spare time, Lochten enjoys reading, playing chess, and metal working. He considers his sheet metal sculptures to be “Traveling Artwork” and his pieces have been widely seen on automobiles in seven states. Lochten is currently in disguise, living with his mother.

Hmm…not buying it? Click here for the real story.